People's Court: Yaweh vs. Lucifer

"Suppose neutral angels were able to talk, Yahweh and Lucifer – God and Satan, to use their popular titles – into settling out of court. What would be the terms of the compromise? Specifically, how would they divide the assets of their early kingdom? 

Would God be satisfied the loaves and fishes and itty-bitty thimbles of Communion wine, while Satan to have the red-eye gravy, eighteen-ounce New York Stakes, and buckets of chilled champagne? Would God really accept twice-a-month lovemaking for procreative purposes and give Satan the all night, no-holds-barred, nasty “can’t-get-enough-of-you” hot-as-hell-fucks? 

Think about it. Would Satan get New Orleans, Bangkok, and the French Riviera and God get Salt Lake City? Satan get ice hockey, God get horseshoes? God get bingo, Satan get stud poker? Satan get LSD; God, Prozac? God get Neil Simon; Satan Oscar Wilde?" 
— Tom Robbins

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Can't we all just get along??

Oh! Sexy Jesus. You Soooo Fly!!

Kickin A Goddess While She's Down!

It has been some years now since I have felt like my 'old' self. Having recently whupped kidney cancer, necessitating months of treatment, I'm now on the ropes with double pneumonia, one broken hip & a broken knee. At home, they refer to me as the 'thing' on the couch. I have lost 90% of my mobility and 100% of my stamina. Look up 'pissed off' in the dictionary and there my picture will be.

Yet I tweet everyday. I tweet my effin little heart out. Apparently, no one cares as I am hemorrhaging followers every day!! Are my troubles that different or startling than your own that it compels people to abandon ship like I have the plague? Talk about kicking a Goddess while she's down! The horror!

My neighbor, a good friend of mine...sometime's I don't talk to her for days. We pick up right where we left off when I see her again. She doesn't 'unfollow' me because I feel like shit! She is loyal! Does that word have NO cache for tweeps?? Is it NECESSARY to make me feel MORE like a piece of useless shit on a couch by UNfollowing me?

I wish, I wish I knew each and everyone's 'troubles' so that when YOU are down, I can kick you in the teeth and UNfollow you. It just makes me want to cry. The inhumanity of it all. Who goes to all the trouble to unfollow someone unless that person has seriously insulted YOU or your fat MAMA?! Booyah!

Just so you know, I have my #TwittaQuitta stats and will be dealing with each any every one of your worthless unfollowing asses as I have nothing but TIME on my hands which are the only part of my body which are still fully functional. You will begin to rue them! So unfollow away. I'm making a list.

Instead of #Follow Friday, I will change it to who NOT to follow on Friday! Friendship and loyalty to one's friends are the apex of Greek life. Those of you who deign to insult this goddess by unfollowing her during her time of need will be dealt with harshly. It is time to put the 'L' for loyalty back into the word foLLower on Twitter! Don't be a quitter! Be a friend. Isn't that why we're all here together?  

The Christian Question

If there is anyone who can ask anything of the Christian, it is the Christian himself. The conclusion is that if I allowed myself at the end of this statement to demand of you certain duties, these could only be duties that it is essential to ask of any man today, whether or not he is a Christian.

I wish to declare also that, not feeling I possess any absolute truth or any message, I shall never start from the supposition that the Christian truth is illusory, but merely from the fact that I could not accept it. Hence I shall not, as far as I'm concerned, try to pass myself off as a Christian in your presence. I share with you the same revulsion from evil. But I do not share your hope, and I continue to struggle against this universe in children continue to suffer and die...