When I was a child, I had horrible night terrors. Dreaming I was in a home in which people
were murdered. Or I was in a home that was being robbed, but I kept looking for something.
I was looking for my son on the night of the robbery. I dream about dead people. Like my father's
mother, my YiaYia (Greek for grandma), because SHE understood his rages. My father
was bipolar and had about 200 guns and ammo. I say the wrong word to set him off & I'm a
dead girl. He was always up at night.
We used to go camping at Death Valley every year. Several times a year we went shooting
with my Uncles's. 1 Marine; 2 Navy; 4 Airforce and one in the army, as well. Demolitions.
As my father became sicker, I relied upon these men to keep me alive. It was a pretty regular
thing for my dad and I to disappear for a couple of weeks in the desert ...by the bombing range.
From time to time, I thought my mother was trying to get me killed by sending me off
alone with my looney dad, with guns, no GPS then, and she would stay home. A nice gig
if you can get it. He could've wasted me and left me out in the desert, telling mother that
"She just wandered off, Joyce." or "The .45 misfired, she's 'gone' honey." How would she
know with all those pills, brandy, TV and bad novels?
Now I'm always up at night and mostly throughout the day, as well. You see people break in
throughout the day. Small noises, big noises, medium noises...anything that doesn't sound like
it belongs to the daily going's on of this house is immediately suspected. So you hear this alot
in my home, "Noise"; "It's ok, it's just me." "It's your mother." But it happened to us at night.
until the sun is up. I'm awake by that time after a nap and ready to patrol the fortress while
he sleeps.
Josh, after seven years, still has nightmares about the break in. I think of the two #Petit girls
and what they had to endure. How does a child's mind recover from such horrors. Sometimes
I think that you should be awarded with death to spare you from the memories of the trauma.
My son and I both sleep in the same room. We have a TV, a mini fridge & two day beds & three authentic
Kitana's. And several other noxious sprays, a variety of blunt objects. If someone tries to
break in again, they're in for a rude awakening. My mother thinks that's totally weird. But what she
doesn't understand is that Josh cannot just get over this trauma. We tried meds, therapy. I re-
fused to admit him to a hospital for observation. He'd still be there. When he sees me in the
room with him, he can sleep. But by way of example, he didn't sleep at all last night because I and
my bad back slept on the couch.
Parents, people, professionals don't understand that you can lead a teenager to therapy, they can
pretend it's good for them, but it's not working, and they're faking it. And they will harbor
a deep resentment, as you betrayed to a 'stranger' all their deepest, darkest feelings without
their permission. According to teens, that is unforgivable. When they want therapy, they will
ask. You, the parent, have to learn how to be patient and wait. Perhaps for years.
What else have you got to do other than raise children. And I'll tell you that the stygma-
tization of the mentally ill has got to stop. I had to take my son out of school to home school him
because the teachers said there was something 'wrong' with him, but couldn't pin point it.
Once it was pointed out, though, it became as plain as the sun rising in the east.
My bottom line is this: Make sure your home is safe; trust no one, not even your relatives; you'll either make it out of this mess with your little family intact or you will come out of it with a
family that resembles none like it on this earth.
I wish his dad had just taken 13 seconds to shut the front door. Kids are so intuitive these days. We should
listen to them more often. 'Paranoia' is really that inner voice so strong in kids. So listen to them when
they feel scared. What's the worst that can happen? Nothing? Or something & you stopped it.
were murdered. Or I was in a home that was being robbed, but I kept looking for something.
I was looking for my son on the night of the robbery. I dream about dead people. Like my father's
mother, my YiaYia (Greek for grandma), because SHE understood his rages. My father
was bipolar and had about 200 guns and ammo. I say the wrong word to set him off & I'm a
dead girl. He was always up at night.
We used to go camping at Death Valley every year. Several times a year we went shooting
with my Uncles's. 1 Marine; 2 Navy; 4 Airforce and one in the army, as well. Demolitions.
As my father became sicker, I relied upon these men to keep me alive. It was a pretty regular
thing for my dad and I to disappear for a couple of weeks in the desert ...by the bombing range.
From time to time, I thought my mother was trying to get me killed by sending me off
alone with my looney dad, with guns, no GPS then, and she would stay home. A nice gig
if you can get it. He could've wasted me and left me out in the desert, telling mother that
"She just wandered off, Joyce." or "The .45 misfired, she's 'gone' honey." How would she
know with all those pills, brandy, TV and bad novels?
Now I'm always up at night and mostly throughout the day, as well. You see people break in
throughout the day. Small noises, big noises, medium noises...anything that doesn't sound like
it belongs to the daily going's on of this house is immediately suspected. So you hear this alot
in my home, "Noise"; "It's ok, it's just me." "It's your mother." But it happened to us at night.
until the sun is up. I'm awake by that time after a nap and ready to patrol the fortress while
he sleeps.
Josh, after seven years, still has nightmares about the break in. I think of the two #Petit girls
and what they had to endure. How does a child's mind recover from such horrors. Sometimes
I think that you should be awarded with death to spare you from the memories of the trauma.
My son and I both sleep in the same room. We have a TV, a mini fridge & two day beds & three authentic
Kitana's. And several other noxious sprays, a variety of blunt objects. If someone tries to
break in again, they're in for a rude awakening. My mother thinks that's totally weird. But what she
doesn't understand is that Josh cannot just get over this trauma. We tried meds, therapy. I re-
fused to admit him to a hospital for observation. He'd still be there. When he sees me in the
room with him, he can sleep. But by way of example, he didn't sleep at all last night because I and
my bad back slept on the couch.
Parents, people, professionals don't understand that you can lead a teenager to therapy, they can
pretend it's good for them, but it's not working, and they're faking it. And they will harbor
a deep resentment, as you betrayed to a 'stranger' all their deepest, darkest feelings without
their permission. According to teens, that is unforgivable. When they want therapy, they will
ask. You, the parent, have to learn how to be patient and wait. Perhaps for years.
What else have you got to do other than raise children. And I'll tell you that the stygma-
tization of the mentally ill has got to stop. I had to take my son out of school to home school him
because the teachers said there was something 'wrong' with him, but couldn't pin point it.
Once it was pointed out, though, it became as plain as the sun rising in the east.
My bottom line is this: Make sure your home is safe; trust no one, not even your relatives; you'll either make it out of this mess with your little family intact or you will come out of it with a
family that resembles none like it on this earth.
I wish his dad had just taken 13 seconds to shut the front door. Kids are so intuitive these days. We should
listen to them more often. 'Paranoia' is really that inner voice so strong in kids. So listen to them when
they feel scared. What's the worst that can happen? Nothing? Or something & you stopped it.
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